Giant Mutant Bunny...reprise

Another "Best of" from the old WoolleyScott.com site.

Enjoy.


Giant Mutant Bunny Attacks Dogs!


So I took my son, Payton, to the mall this weekend and, of course, the Easter Bunny was there. Well, not the real Easter Bunny (although my son asked where he lived and the best I could come up with was “the South Pole, so he doesn’t get in Santa’s way”), but the 6 foot tall, ratty-looking Easter Bunny with the Temp inside cursing life and charging $14.95 for a photo opportunity. Now, since I have a rule, which goes something like this, “No purchases over $9.99 of items that neither Father nor Son will remember buying a week from now,” I had to refrain from purchasing the aforementioned photo. Seeing the forlorn look on Jr’s face, the Easter Bunny did give him a free pair of large, white, cardboard bunny ears, which were immediately applied to said head.

From the mall, we traveled directly to the comic book store downtown, because I had promised Jr. a new comic book for successfully completing a potty-training mission (let’s not go there). If you’ve been to a comic store lately, you know that there are approximately 8,045 violent, sexually-charged comics written for adults and almost two written for children under the age of five, so rarely do we have a lot to choose from. Nevertheless, we plodded into the store. Now, I must mention that this store, like countless other book stores, has live-in pets; in this case, two wonderful, elderly dogs.

Immediately upon entering, the short, fat dog turned tail and bolted into the back room. The tall, skinny dog stared us down for a moment, then started barking at the top of his lungs while moving backwards and knocking into people standing at the counter. It took me a moment to make sense of it, but then it hit me. The bunny ears! My son was a walking, talking, three-foot tall bunny out of the dogs’ worst nightmares. You could almost see the thought bubbles over their heads: “But I just chase bunnies in my dreams! I’ve never even CAUGHT one!”

About five minutes after I asked my son to please remove his ears, the dogs finally gathered the courage to come sniff us. I offered my apologies, but they were still a bit miffed, I could tell.