Saturday, August 23, 2008

Giant Mutant Bunny...reprise

Another "Best of" from the old site.


Giant Mutant Bunny Attacks Dogs!

So I took my son, Payton, to the mall this weekend and, of course, the Easter Bunny was there. Well, not the real Easter Bunny (although my son asked where he lived and the best I could come up with was “the South Pole, so he doesn’t get in Santa’s way”), but the 6 foot tall, ratty-looking Easter Bunny with the Temp inside cursing life and charging $14.95 for a photo opportunity. Now, since I have a rule, which goes something like this, “No purchases over $9.99 of items that neither Father nor Son will remember buying a week from now,” I had to refrain from purchasing the aforementioned photo. Seeing the forlorn look on Jr’s face, the Easter Bunny did give him a free pair of large, white, cardboard bunny ears, which were immediately applied to said head.

From the mall, we traveled directly to the comic book store downtown, because I had promised Jr. a new comic book for successfully completing a potty-training mission (let’s not go there). If you’ve been to a comic store lately, you know that there are approximately 8,045 violent, sexually-charged comics written for adults and almost two written for children under the age of five, so rarely do we have a lot to choose from. Nevertheless, we plodded into the store. Now, I must mention that this store, like countless other book stores, has live-in pets; in this case, two wonderful, elderly dogs.

Immediately upon entering, the short, fat dog turned tail and bolted into the back room. The tall, skinny dog stared us down for a moment, then started barking at the top of his lungs while moving backwards and knocking into people standing at the counter. It took me a moment to make sense of it, but then it hit me. The bunny ears! My son was a walking, talking, three-foot tall bunny out of the dogs’ worst nightmares. You could almost see the thought bubbles over their heads: “But I just chase bunnies in my dreams! I’ve never even CAUGHT one!”

About five minutes after I asked my son to please remove his ears, the dogs finally gathered the courage to come sniff us. I offered my apologies, but they were still a bit miffed, I could tell.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Thanks for the outstanding Olympic Tri coverage...

Kudos to NBC and their wonderful Triathlon coverage - I stayed up until two a.m. on the night that they had it listed in the schedule and...nothing. Apparently, since no U.S. racers won a medal, they figured "why bother?" Thanks for nothing.

Just an unbelievable number of triathlons on Sept 6th and 7th. Get out there and race one!


September 1st / Labor Day 5k / Lewiston, ID

September 1st / Labor Day Triathlon and Duathlon / Elma, WA

September 6th / Aluminum Man Olympic and Sprint Triathlon / The Dalles, OR

September 6th / Black Hills Triathlon and Duathlon / Olympia, WA

September 6th / Palouse Sprint Triathlon / Moscow, ID

September 6th / Skamania Performing Arts 5k / Bonneville Dam, OR

September 6th / Dayton Fiesta 10k and 5k Run / Dayton, OR

September 6th / Uncle Joe 50k Ultra / Newport, WA

September 6th / The MAC Dash Triathon / Madras, OR

September 6th / Camano View Dash 10k and 5k / Camano Island, WA

September 6th / Columbia Crossing 1.5 mile river swim / Pasco, WA

September 6th / America's Vancouver Triathlon, Duathlon, 10k and 5k / Vancouver, WA

September 7th / Escape from the Gorge Triathlon / Cascade Locks, OR

September 7th / Skagit Flats Marathon and Half-Marathon / Burlington, WA

September 7th / Lincoln City Sprint Triathlon / Lincoln City, OR

September 7th / Escape From the Rock Sprint Triathlon / Seattle, WA

September 7th / Subaru Women's Sprint Triathlon / Federal Way, WA

September 7th / Bank to Bay 10k and 5k / Tacoma, WA

September 7th / Pints to Pasta 10k / Portland, OR

September 7th / Aflac Iron Girl 10k and 5k / Seattle, WA

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


I see a lot, a LOT, of swimming in my future. The ankle that I just slightly tweaked while running at Chip Ross Park is now majorly tweaked. I stepped on a rock while running on West Wapato Rd. and turned it but good. Now it's swollen, tender,'s an Elvis song on the end of my leg.

So Corvallis pool, here I come. I see a good 3 to 4 weeks of swimming for this one.


Thursday, August 14, 2008

Holy moly, where's a indoor treadmill?!?!

For those runners out there that think treadmills are a sorry excuse for training, let me introduce you to the Yakima Valley in mid-August. It's supposed to be 99 degrees today, then 102 tomorrow and 103 on Saturday. Yeah, a treadmill inside a climate-controlled athletic club, right around 68 degrees, would feel pretty good right now.


August 30th / Scoggins Valley Olympic and Sprint Triathlon - Duathlon / Forest Grove, OR

August 30th / Umpqua Ultimate Olympic and Sprint Triathlon, Duathlon, and 10k and 5k runs / Sutherlin, OR

August 30th / Titanium Man Olympic Triathlon / Richland, WA

August 30th / Lake Padden 10.35 mile run / Bellingham, WA

August 31st / Nike+ The Human Race 10k / Portland, OR

August 31st / Oregon Trout City of Portland Olympic and Sprint Triathlon / Portland, OR

August 31st / Steve Braun Memorial Triathlon / Orcas Island, WA

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Yes, finally. I've got a new article out there on the racks. It's in the August issue of RaceCenter magazine and it's titled "Keeping Pace with Technology" or something equally dorky. But it's a good read, I'm sure. Well, I'm not completely sure because I usually just skim them. Hey, I wrote it once, I should know what it says without having to read it again. Of course, I would always read my Northwest Runner articles all the way through just to see how the Editor there mangled it this time.

By the way, if a store makes you pay for your RaceCenter magazine, just keep looking around. I've picked up copies in a number of different stores and about 50% of the stores charge for the magazine and about 50% give them away. Don't ask me why...I don't know.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Hittin' the Chip Ross Wall...

Apparently, Chip Ross is Latin for "Holy crap, will this 89 degree uphill never end!?!" Yes, I ran (well, who's kidding whom), I sort of ran-walked up and down the main trail at the Chip Ross Park in Corvallis today. That's some steep stuff right there. Was it worth it? Check out those photos...yeah, it was worth it. I almost broke my ankle trying to check out the view while I was running. "Kids. Always stop and walk before you gaze at the view!"

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Curse you Burgerville!

I have no home, no fitness club, no bike (it's in storage) and no energy.

I do have 21 Burgerville locations between Sedro-Woolley and Corvallis that have free wi-fi so I can update my blog and try to find employment.

I'm just about as fat as I could possibly be.

(we've got to find a place to live in