Wednesday, August 12, 2009

As cool as ice...

You know, it's really not that easy to be cool when you're working out with a bunch of college kids that are in the best shape of their lives without even trying. There's usually more posing going on at Dixon than exercising, but I'm always in there, sweating, panting, gasping for air while everyone around me flexes and tries to find a date for Friday night. But hey, I still try to be cool...

So I'm at Dixon last night, just got changed into my running stuff in the locker room and I'm walking out to hit the treadmill. They've got a nice full-length mirror just before you leave the locker room so you can make sure you've got your pants on. As I go by, I notice I've got a Bounce sheet from the dryer hanging out the leg hole on the back of my right leg. Jeez, how embarrassing - glad I caught that one before I made it out.

So I go do a nice little five miler on the treadmill, sneer at the college kids putting in their mini workout/poses. That's right, you want to see a man working out? Right here. Check it out, Holmes. You gotta keep these kids in their place.

So I finish up and strut out to the lobby. The basketball team is hanging out - Hey guys, how's it going? Man, I'm feeling good. I'm showin' these kids what an old man can do.

I head back into the locker room to shower up and glance in the mirror on my way through. I'm heading the opposite direction now, so the mirror is on the other side of me. Hey look! I've got a Bounce sheet stuck hanging out of my shorts on that side too! Ya know, if you just glance at it quickly, it sort of looks like toilet paper sticking out of my shorts. Nice.

Yep, I'm cool all right. Maybe I'll just start working out at home.


  1. It's just as funny in print form as when you told it to me the other day! Snigger snigger...

  2. Ha! That is good. I can totally picture it. Your writing is so fun to read too.