Friday, January 22, 2010

The Pain Shower!

No, it's not the sequel to The Hurt's literally a shower of...pain.

See, it's like this: after a nice long run on the treadmills at Dixon (hey, it's raining - I'm not going to run outside!), I head down to the men's showers. "Men's", so the women don't scream and/or hurt me, and "showers" so I don't smell as bad as the rest of the people on the bus home...if that's even possible. So, stay with me here, heading into the showers, turn left, then from the three showers on the right, choose the one in the middle.

Yep, that's the Pain Shower.

The water comes out of that thing like it's the elephant showerhead from Seinfeld. It's not the sharp little pinpricks, it's like hundreds of wet little fists of fury! It hurts your head when you duck under the pounding stream of water. And don't even think about letting that high pressure water smack against your...tenders. I can tell you from experience that holding that...area, and screaming like a little girl, doesn't exactly make friends in the locker room. So you sort of have to hold one hand up in the spray to deflect the deadly stream, while trying to get the backspray to rinse off your shampoo. It's tough.

So why, you ask, does the R's actually use that shower. Well, first and foremost, as a guy, I have to follow the Rule of the Public Showers:

You may use any shower, as long as:
a) you never choose a shower right next to someone else if there are any other open showers that have a space between users, and
b) stare at the tile...even if you're really wondering why the guy next to you would actually have a snake tattoo on...look at the tile!

So sometimes you just get stuck with the Pain Shower.

Be safe out there.

Thanks to the Chase Corporate Challenge for the Firetruck Shower photo.

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